Hamish and Lyndon - not former Police Commissioners

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Twelve Reasons Not to Vote Labour

The penultimate post in a multi-part series.

1. Labour sounds too much like hard work.

2. Because you're gonna drive with such scrupulous obedience to the road rules that you won't make it to the ballot box on time.

3. You prefer National's policies, on account of how you get off on the idea of holding reviews.

4. Because Helen Clark personally lifted all those emails out of Don's in-tray, made one copy of each, returned them -- all in the blink of an eye -- then leaked them. This may seem unlikely, but think about it: that woman can move pretty fast.

5. Because you think that, rather than physically restraining Madeleine Flannagan, Pete Hodgson should have punched her in the face. That doesn't really makes sense, but we feel a lot better for saying it.

6. You have decided to go with the party whose campaign uses the most recognisable photo of Helen Clark.

7. Because you think Don Brash will be a really good Prime Minister. No, seriously -- some people think that.

8. Because the Prime Minister's speed, attitude towards airline pilots, and teeth are issues that are important to you.

9. Because God wants the shackles of employment relations law removed from His businesses.

10. Their continued association with Jim Anderton.

11. Because you're convinced Trevor Mallard is somehow in the wrong party.

12. Because their leader isn't physically attractive. Vote Destiny.