Collins: Collins Crush!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Collins ANGRY!
Collins hear car! It loud car!
Collins see boy in car!
Car shiny?
Car shiny!
Him BOY RACER!
Collins fine racer? No! Him not pay fine already!
Collins impound car? No!!
Collins Crush car! Collins CRUSH!
Why Collins impound when Collins can POUND?
Collins Smash! Collins Destroy! COLLINS CRUSH!! Rargh!!
Raaargh!!!
Teach him drive car!
Why everybody shout at Collins? Like when them say 'Public Safety' are only words Collins knows and Collins have simplistic view of Justice System.
That not true. Collins know many words. Have big vocabulary.
Collins not bad person. Just misunderstood.
Collins have feelings too.
Collins should get back rub?
NO!! Collins. Stay. ANGRY!!
If Collins get calm, Collins turn back to Simon Power. That no fun.
Here come man in suit. Him shout at Collins.
Rargh! Collins receive much positive feedback from electorate! Collins have mandate! PUBLIC SAFETY!!
Man have piece of paper. Say him have interest in car as finance agent.
Piece of paper make Collins ANGRY!
COLLINS CRUSH PIECE OF PAPER!!!
RAAARGH!!!
Teach him lend money finance car boy drive loud!
Here come reporter! Record Collins answers stupid questions!
COLLINS CRUSH TAPE RE --
[Transcript Ends]
Trivia: According to her Facebook site, Judith Collins is a fan of Sarah Palin.
Labels: boy racers, crime, judith collins, nz politics, satire, youth
COMMENTS:
I'm currently living in South Korea, and logging on to Scoop and reading your work is one of my favourite parts of the day. Your Referendum Flow Chart is awesome, my friends and I all took great delight in spending the better part of an hour scrolling back and forth and up and down reading every last little bit. It galls me to think that people consider Steve Braunias or Jim Hopkins to be "comic " journalists, when we have you.
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