Lyndon Hood - clearly not paying attention to blog
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
Confession time.
All those anonymous sources you see quoted in the media: me.
I am every anonymous source. I am also every anonymous twitter account, but you know me best as every anonymous source.
All of them. Each one.
Actually, since we're telling the truth, perhaps not all of them. Some anonymous sources have useful or important information. Sometimes it's even verifiable. None of those are me. But I've been working on crowding them out and mostly, these days, it's me.
I've also done a little work on the real anonymous twitter accounts. More>>
There Is No Surveillance In New Zealand
There is no surveillance in New Zealand
There is no one listening to your phones
There is no surveillance in New Zealand
You can all crawl back under you stones
But everybody's talking about the GCSB
Everybody's talking about the GCSB
Picking on their own country
With digital technology
We have no
emails
We have no
textses
We have no
web histories
We have no
webcam chats
webcam chats
no no
More>>
Werewolf: Voting By The Good Book
1 The words of the Satirist, the son of guy called Jim, mostly just publishes press releases on Scoop.
2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Satirist, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
3 What profit hath a man of all his efforts to decide who to vote for?
4 One leader passeth away, and another leader cometh: but the attempted superficial charm abideth for ever.
5 The poll riseth, and the poll goeth down, and hasteth to his place whence it arose.
6 The party go-eth toward nationalism, and turneth about unto harsh justice policy, then maybe beneficiary bashing or tax cuts; it whirleth about continually, and the party returneth again according to his circuits.
7 All the candidates call for the policy; yet the policy is not released; those from whence most demands come, are most barren of it.
More>>
Labels: elections, media, nz politics, privacy, satire, surveillance
Blimp For Welfare Reform
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Lovingly ripped off from David Low
In the years prior to World War Two ex-pat New Zealand cartoonist David Low (1891-1963) created the character of Colonel Blimp – conservative ex-army gentleman, bather and oxey moron. The following is based on part of 'Lows Topical Budget' from the Evening Standard of 2 November 1935. (A little more on Low – and Blimp – in this 2009 Werewolf article.)
For those who prefer their parodied images more photographic, here's one I prepared earlier:
Labels: cartoons, colonel blimp, david low, don brash, elections, peter dunne, satire, welfare
Lyndon Hood - Crotchety Old Man, Wellington
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Make your own referendum question.
On a related note, the latest Werewolf is out. Lyndon Hood writes, "Whine whine quote whine quote quote quote."
I imagine I put the goalposts somewhere outside the stadium on this particular question. Feel free to pop over and prove me wrong.
Labels: culture jamming, elections, referendum, satire, section 59, werewolf
A Victory Parade For John Key
Monday, November 17, 2008
http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/HL0811/S00219.htm
"It's The Allegory, Stupid"Download full image:
With numbers
Without numbers
Click to enlarge
Key***:
(1) A patched up, exapanded Economy propels New Zealand along the road to success, only saddled with a bigger, better national debt. High inflation is no longer considered an issue, so they're pumping it up as hard as they can.
Six months ago there was a plan to use this as a cash cow, but it turned out to be bull. And, though they are building infrastructure urgently, there is still a big hole ahead.
(In the hole, the artist has cunningly depicted the optical fibre in the form of a Lamp, to remind the initiated of the Torch of Freedom.)
"Onward," cries the Driver, "and don't spare the emmissions! Let's grow our cake, and eat it too!"
(2) The Victor leads the parade. He is portrayed here with Eyes, to indicate that he has a Vision For New Zealand.
Holding his master's Laurels is the traditional Slave, to whisper to him as they go among the worshipful masses: "You, too, are mortal."
Click to enlarge
(3) The Champion, in his new Winston-Skin Cloak, ready to recieve his reward. Behind him, a carefully-quarantined Roger Douglas.
(4) This lonely Rooster follows the Leader now, finally lured away from his earlier position sitting on the fence. Grand though his plumage is, he wasn't able to bring any friends along on his tail.
(5) It's the Dead-Fish Swallower with some other Baggage From The 90s! How the crowd laughs at their ideological contortions!
Click to enlarge
(6) A series of unexplained Leeks.
(7) These Shadowy Corporate Backers might be pleased, but who can tell? Hopefully, they'll be more transparent next time, but don't bet on it.
(8) The Third Cab Off The Rank, about to test the wisdom of hitching their wagon to a Ministerial Post.
So far in the Parade, our New Leader has rather more votes than he needs. Who says he doesn't believe in Big Governments?
Click to enlarge
(9) Look! Now there are more blocks of cheese in the Back Pockets of Hard-Worker New Zealanders. And Camp Boots. That's what they are. Not boot camps. Nothing like boot camps.
(10) Kiwis flocking to return from Australia. Welcome home! Thank goodness for tax cuts!
(11) It's Crime-O, mascot of the private prison industry! Crime-O's new, harsher formula: no promises about cleaning up your streets but, boy, is it harsh. Crime-O: now also more expensive.
(Crime-O is a division of the Halliburton Corporation.)
(12) The credible, affordable and practical Solution to one in five children failing at school.
Click to enlarge
(13) The terrifying Five-Headed Left Wing Monster. Slain by a magical Four-Handed Sword.
(14) This Kiwisaver Retirement Saving Scheme has been gutted. Look how much money was inside! How many lollies could you buy with that?
(15) The Discussion-Document-White-Paper-Line-By-Line-Review-And-Committee-Report Bearer. Awww.
(16) Ask not for whom The Toll is tolled; because even if the incoming Minister answers you the incoming Prime Minister will probably overrule him immediately, and you'll end up none the wiser.
(17) A Tax Cut Dispensing Machine. Compared to the troubles being forecast, the tax cut may be small change, but that's good. Becuase it's time for a change, as we all apparently agree.
Click to enlarge
(18) The Dead Hand Of The State.
(19) An In-Control Public Service, capped and with emergency arrangements to control waste.
(20) We'll be cracking down on every kind of gang except the Razor Gang: he hasn't been called on yet - in so many words - but he knows he'll be wanted. Slashing or slow bleeding, he promises you won't feel a thing. He doesn't mind if it's a haircut or an amputation - either way, that's "less" bureaucrats.
"Here's and idea," he says, "If we can't sell off state assets, what say we privatise the government?"
(21) The Prime Minister De-Elect, accompanied by her Sidekick who you will note has Two Long Ears (if I heard the story right, he did have Nine Long Ears, but wasted them). She is walking before her entourage can fight about who gets to roll her.
* Of course you can't find them. They're hidden.
** For prize, apply to Mike Williams. Time limit may have expired.
*** See what I did there?
Labels: elections, national party, nz politics, satire
