Lyndon Hood - still not quite caught up but here's the latest thing

Friday, May 20, 2016

Work And Grimmcome

A rich man's wife became sick, and when she felt that her end was drawing near, she called her only daughter to her bedside and said, "Dear child, remain pious and good, and our social welfare safety net will prevent your standard of living ever falling below an acceptable minimum level." Then she closed her eyes and died. More>>

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Lyndon Hood - sort of catching up but not quite

Lyndon Hood: Caught With Your Panamas Down

Scoop: Hello there.

Person in charge of Policy Formation on Foreign Things: Hi.

S: Mister…?


S: Can I ask your name?

P: You certainly can.

S: Well, then.

P: You usually don't though. In practice.

S: Why not?

P: I might not want to tell you. Or it might be inconvenient for you to know, I suppose. I have to know my name though, so that's all right. It's called disclosure. All above board.

S: Well I have to assume it is. Basically I'm taking this on…

P: Trust.

S: … trust.

P: Yes, that's the exact word. It's a completely transparent disclosure regime. More>>

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Lyndon Hood, still using this title format, Wellington

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

New Werewolf! Naturally, I did a thing about the new Kanye album.

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Lyndon Hood - obviously not too busy, Wellington

Thursday, January 21, 2016

And here's a thing about this housing plan:

Scoop Satire: The Courage Of Your Evictions

Scoop: About this housing proposal…

Bennett: It's not really a proposal as such, more a thing we're suggesting.

Scoop: You're floating it in advance?

Bennett: Yes. Like a, like a…

Scoop: … a naval mine?


Lyndon Hood - still here, Wellington

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Wrote a thing:

Scoop Satire: Collins On Bail

Judith Collins, the recently-reappointed Minister of Police and Corrections, has been accused of inappropriately criticising a judge's decision over the electronic bail of Mathew Kidman.

Her comments were made after the serial absconder removed his electronic monitoring bracelet and went on the run.

Criminal Bar Association president Tony Bouchier said Collins "has a history of criticising judges publicly as a minster of the Crown" and was "taking a punch at someone who can't punch back".

Scoop did not speak to Collins, but Scoop can guess. More>>


ALSO see earlier Werewolf - From The Hood : Illegal in an Illegal Land and who knows what all else.

Lyndon Hood - listing noticably, Wellington

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

New On Scoop: Top Five Politicians 2015 'Tis the season for making lists! We’ve been flipping every coin we could lay our hands on and now we present the top five most toppest top political performers of 2015. Because otherwise, how will you know who to like? More>> That' just been updated on Serco news. Stand by for seasonal update containing stuff that I failed to link from here in earlier months. Maybe.

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Lyndon Hood - catching up again, Wellington

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Oh yeah - I wrote a thing about flags for Werewolf. As mentioned in Sideswipe.

Here is one I left out (explanation in the comments).

Also - earlier:

The Politician’s Song

am a perfect picture of the modern politic-i-an:
I don’t precisely have a plan so much as an ambition;
‘Say what will sound most pleasant to the public’ is my main dictum:
And when in doubt attack someone who already is a victim... More>>

Homeopathic Governance

Late last week Green MP Steffan Browning was reported as supporting a petition calling for the use of homeopathy in the World Health Organisation’s response to ebola.

This is, of course, exactly the kind of thing leadership of the Green Party has been trying to distance itself from and may yet end in the TV news getting that footage of the morris dancers out again. One imagines many angry tears over the homemade kombucha in the Greens office. More>>

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Lyndon Hood - clearly not paying attention to blog

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

Here is something I prepared just now and two things from earlier. In order of recentcyness:

The Source Of Denial

Confession time.

All those anonymous sources you see quoted in the media: me.

I am every anonymous source. I am also every anonymous twitter account, but you know me best as every anonymous source.

All of them. Each one.

Actually, since we're telling the truth, perhaps not all of them. Some anonymous sources have useful or important information. Sometimes it's even verifiable. None of those are me. But I've been working on crowding them out and mostly, these days, it's me.

I've also done a little work on the real anonymous twitter accounts. More>>

There Is No Surveillance In New Zealand

There is no surveillance in New Zealand
There is no one listening to your phones
There is no surveillance in New Zealand
You can all crawl back under you stones

But everybody's talking about the GCSB
Everybody's talking about the GCSB
Picking on their own country
With digital technology

We have no
We have no
We have no
web histories
We have no
webcam chats
webcam chats
no no

Werewolf: Voting By The Good Book

1 The words of the Satirist, the son of guy called Jim, mostly just publishes press releases on Scoop.

2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Satirist, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

3 What profit hath a man of all his efforts to decide who to vote for?

4 One leader passeth away, and another leader cometh: but the attempted superficial charm abideth for ever.

5 The poll riseth, and the poll goeth down, and hasteth to his place whence it arose.

6 The party go-eth toward nationalism, and turneth about unto harsh justice policy, then maybe beneficiary bashing or tax cuts; it whirleth about continually, and the party returneth again according to his circuits.

7 All the candidates call for the policy; yet the policy is not released; those from whence most demands come, are most barren of it.

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